Bea Miles squeezes arse-first into my cab commanding a trip of 25000 miles to Perth. I quote 19 days and six-hundred dollars, she acquiesces and quotes Macbeth – never having compensated a cabbie in years, just wrenching-off their bumpers or sailing-on their doors. Who better than me, then, to collate her tale as her tennis shoes straddle my dashboard?
As we cruise out of Sydney, I enquire why she motorcycles in evening dress, before skewering sharks with knives by her beach cave, or why ‘Gentleman will refrain from smoking’ sings the sign under which she refuses to refrain for...
Priggery, Caddery, Snobbery Smuggery
At Wagga Waaga Bea bawls ‘Pull over!’ because Rosie Norton has flown down from Kings Cross; Fresh from the thunder, Rosie wriggles-in beside her, shunning me as a senseless shibboleth.
The filth have harassed her for wandering with wizards, drawing demons and fucking gay men; Residing in tents and stables, Thorn curses conformity and conducts a sky-clad ritual with Miles.
She sings ‘Though the tabloids taunt me for anal antics and meddling with the mentally ill, I came into this cab bravely; I’ll go out bravely to enchant pompous prudes and
Priggery, Caddery, Snobbery, Smuggery.'
As the cab comes to Ceduna ,Bea beckons Bill Chidley clad in Grecian tunic and clutching pamphlets. William wandered out of the asylum – sentenced by sober society for flogging mere nudity and nuts.
His pamphlets he places beside Bea’s Battered coat, and once again the cab becomes sky clad,
But Chidley chides sexual convention, and wishes to unite with the wheels of the world.
So Together, on my back seat, they mourn a planet on which sex is perverted and uniqueness prevented; where Bea’s arrested, Rosie’s restricted and Bill’s banned from Australia’s soapboxes by
Priggery, Caddery, Snobbery, Smuggery
Norseman nears as Bea previews her death, and reveals the reason for her voyage:
‘The wildflower’, she wheezes, ‘the emblem of Australia, grows in Perth like no other…
When they scatter me across this country, they must scatter them upon me…
Play ‘Tie me Kangaroo down Sport’, sing it for Bea now’, as Perth approaches…'
She reaches out and holds me, huge though she is, followed by her fellows…
With no inhibitions and no superstitions... they fuck....
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